Debra writes:
There is no day 21
There is only time. Time. Without her.
Paul, my friend and I are eating at Plan B. it is noisy, New Yorky.
I feel pre Day1 Carol was not a part of our madcap adventures. I am in my skin.
I tell him what Heather the astrologer told me : Carol and I have been together in many lives and had been torn apart. Torn from each other. Or did she say ripped from? It was possible that would happen in this life
Paul tells me about the ethereal bodies that entertwine and become as one.
He looks with his serious blue eyes directly into me
That is the ripping. It heals. She died. She was ripped from you.
I think oh fuck how much time in this endless day 21?
I dream she is ignoring me and I can’t find her.
But I awake thinking I am repairing the tears. Both of them
Carol Rocks! 
We kept bargaining for more time. Maybe 5 years. Maybe 2 years. Maybe she will beat this thing. She is strong. She is fiesty. How can this be? Will she make it to the spring? Maybe we can at least get to the Cape house for New Year’s. I told her she could bring Eli and that made her very happy. She asked the doctor if she would see 2013 and when he shook his head, I stopped bargaining and a piece of me died, knowing we would lose Carol. Carol who brought laughter, a good nap, wisdom, acceptance and warmth to our lives would pass away. I have been grieving since day 21 and will miss Carol everyday of my life.
Robin and Jude could not have expressed my thoughts any better. This death has really sucked.